Day 7 begins and I find myself relaxed and ready to explore what today has in store for me. There is an abundance that is remembered more and more each day. I connect more deeply with my body, mind, and spirit. Mastery of the energy of self awareness is a crucial phase of development for all beings. There have been some obstructions in my energy field to receiving the prosperity and abundance that naturally desires to be with me. In my youth I took on many patterns from my elders and society regarding what state of wealth I could achieve for myself.
It seemed the only answer to difficulties with receiving financial stability had to do with the concept of hard work. It is only by the sweat of your brow that you receive your daily bread. Is that phrase familiar to anyone reading this? There is this concept that has been floating around in the energy of this planet for generations, the concept that prosperity must be difficult. It seems valid at the surface level, just by the sheer logic that if it were easy, then someone would have been prospering from it.
What if the people who actually have been prospering from it have been ridiculed and ostracized? What if they were called crazy until they were successful, at which point they were known as eccentric? What if each person has had a small piece of the solution to this seemingly insurmountable challenge? One of the deepest truths I have found is just how much my life has been driven forward by the patterns of my youth. Almost like there have been two or more people inside of me. One seems to be in charge, while there is another who pulls the strings behind the scenes.
I have begun to realize that there are aspects of me that have been in charge of what I see, feel, and do on this planet. Even in my dreams I am still within this overarching system of control. I have flailed and fumed at these secret mechanisms that have been running my life. However, it was only after the practice of meditation was taken up that they began to lose some of that control. It was then that I began to see beyond the veil of illusion that has hidden the truth from me.
What has happened, as best as I currently understand it, is the one who knew how to survive is the one who is here now. The other parts of me, the ones that were too weak to make the decisions necessary, they were shut down. Those parts of me were mocked, bullied, ridiculed, into giving up their power to the one who could and has kept us safe. However, there became a point where another voice began to rise within, one that began to question whether this seeming safety was really necessary.
As one crying in the wilderness, this voice arose, and violence followed. Violence in the form of others attacking, bullying, ridiculing, belittling, all manner of degradation were tossed our way. Why was this? Well, the one who has been in power, had the benefactor in the shadows, that benefactor knew how to manipulate those around me. It was only after continuing my path of meditation that I began to see these hidden strings and levers. As I saw more and more, I was able to begin to act. To counter the hidden control mechanisms and reveal them for what they are.
My understanding has deepened on this journey as I see more and more of these shadowy elements. I recognize and remember when I needed them, why they came to my aid, what their purpose was and is. I have begun to feel immense gratitude for all these seemingly dark aspects of self. In this field of gratitude, the hitherto unimagined, is becoming possible. I am achieving integration and balance. The path of prosperity is yielding to my patient examination and gratitude. I am receiving more and more confirmation with each day, that this battle is ending very soon.
Once the truth of self is glimpsed, there is no going back. There is only forward, with more and more confidence and joy. I am exceptionally grateful for the hardships that I have chosen for myself in each moment. It is through this contrast that I have such an abundant awareness of what it is that I truly desire to experience in life. I have met people who have shown me pieces of myself that I never suspected existed. I have received guidance in the most unlikely of places and times. There is overwhelming evidence in my life experiences that I have never been alone in my hardships or joys.
My faith and trust in the inherent benevolence of existence is grown more and more with each day. I find myself saying and doing things that the older versions of me would never have thought possible. I have abundant joy for my hardships and everything else that comes to me. There is a path for each and every person on this planet and throughout existence. All beings have access to this guidance. No one is alone, nor abandoned. I have experienced guidance and so will you. Go forth and be your magnificent self.